I was 16 years old when I applied to my first government job. I asked the receptionist if I could help out with file maintenance or janitorial duties. The lady looked at me perplexed as to how I got in the building, and stared at my ragged clothes. (It’s stonewashed girlfriend, it went out in the early 90s but I’m still confirming that!). She then told me I must apply to the bulletin board at Manpower (for those young ones, there was no Workopolis or Monster, we had to go see narcissistic people at their place of employment to arrange for them to pimp us out and take our earnings aka Temp Agencies). I felt so defeated, I took two buses and a skytrain to get there. I replied to her “Thanks, I will be back!”
15 years later, I achieved my educational goals, gained adequate experience and applied to the same governmental agency. I spent 8 hours on the application, by the time the day came to an end, I was exhausted and my brain was in some sort of paralysis. A month and a half later I got an invitation for an interview. Normally I would be ecstatic about this news, but I was reading this invitation on my way to the airport. I was heading out of country for three weeks and the interview was in two.
After trying to work with them about my out of country status, they were ready to pass me up for the interview. I made arrangements to fly home right before the interview, and prepared with my HR Guru/Girlfriend (HRg).
The interview was on the island, so I asked if my HRg was willing to take the day off her busy schedule to coach me. All expenses were paid, she just had to coach me – and that she did. I have never felt so prepared for an interview in my life! I had support which gave the confidence to be myself and no other. I walked in there proud of my accomplishments, and walked out feeling very successful.
32 effing days later, I received a rejection letter. I was preparing for it as I called about my application status 2 weeks prior. They told me that they could not make a decision because they are waiting to hear from ONE candidate’s reference. Are you effing kidding me? You can’t get a hold of a reference so an entire hiring process comes to a halt? And then it dawned on me, I was not that ONE candidate, that special person selected. I was not going to go traveling, and be apart of this agency that I so longed for. So when I got the letter, even though I knew, my heart still dropped. I lost something I never really had.
Till today I am still somewhat bothered by it. Twice this year, I have been screwed over by government entities. The ‘Universe’ was trying to tell me something and I was completely ‘unconscious’ about it. If there are so many hurdles, could that be my destiny or my despair? What separates us humans from animals is that we know how to ‘reason and make choices’. Last week, I thought it through and choose The Path of Least Resistance.
There is no need to pursue something that you are not destined for. The ‘universe’ told me I shouldn’t have a particular credential as I have been unsuccessful with it. The ‘universe’ told me that I am not a potential employee at this government agency while I fought it for 15 years. I wanted to be the person I want others to see me as. Someone that worked hard to obtain a career and hit touch down when they got that ‘dream job’.
Not getting the credential nor that dream job forced me to the path of least resistance. Why not do what I authentically want? Why not take the road less traveled? And why not pursue an avenue that brings me joy? It is sad that we focus so much on what others think of us. We try to make our loved ones proud and happy. Yet, we forget, that our loved ones are proud of us when we follow our hearts and not our minds.